Thursday, October 4, 2012
Today I have one of my favorite people here to share with you her thoughts on bullying. I am pleased that Cheryl Rainfield took time out of her busy schedule and visit with us. Enjoy!
"I was a timid, scared, shy kid. I was being abused and tortured at home, and it showed—in the way I walked (head down), talked (not often, and so quietly or so fast people usually couldn’t hear me), in the way I jumped at loud or sudden noises and flinched at touch. I also had the disadvantage of my abuser parents dressing me in second-hand clothing that looked second hand, haircuts that were done at home, and being so isolated by my abusers that I didn’t know what kids were talking about when they’d talk about singers or actors or popular fads. And all that drew bullies’ attention at school. I guess I looked like an easy target. Well, I was an easy target. Vulnerable, sensitive, shy, easily hurt, already traumatized.
In grade school I was shoved, hit, chased, punched, tripped, had things stolen from me or sometimes destroyed. But one of the hardest things, besides never fitting in, never having friends, was having others ignore me, or say mean things to me, put me down, laugh at me, exclude me from their groups. One group of girls pretended to be my friends one day, then ignore me or “hate” me the next. Those emotional wounds hurt deeply. Another thing that hurt deeply was having a few boys repeatedly come up to me and poke me, and then laugh loudly when I would jump and cower. And then do it all again. I couldn’t stop jumping or cowering—I couldn’t bear people touching me, especially when I didn’t want it and/or didn’t know that they would. Touch only meant pain or rape at home.
I felt a lot on anguish; I was in emotional pain most of the time—mostly from the abuse and torture I experienced at home, but the bullying intensified it all and made my life harder. It ensured that I had no safe place anywhere—not at school, and of course not at home.
I tried to lose myself in books, and to find friends in the pages. Books helped save me, gave me some comfort. They were safety and hope and healing. They were a refuge from my life.
I wish now that the adults watching had intervened when they saw the bullying happen. That the students had been taught compassion, kindness, and tolerance along with all their other subjects. How is how we act toward other people, how we treat them, any less important than geography or history? I wish schools had taught anti-bullying messages—but above all, compassion."
-Cheryl Rainfield
About Cheryl Rainfield:
Cheryl Rainfield is the author of the award-winning
SCARS, a novel about a queer teen sexual abuse survivor who uses self-harm to
cope; the award-winning HUNTED, a novel about a teen who is a telepath in a
world where any paranormal power is illegal; and the forthcoming STAINED, about
a teen who is abducted and must rescue herself. Cheryl Rainfield is an incest
and ritual abuse survivor and an avid reader and writer who tries to help
people know they are not alone, no matter where their pain comes from. She is
an advocate for abuse survivors, people who’ve self-harmed, and the LGBTQ
(lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer) community. She lives in Toronto with her
little dog Petal.
Cheryl Rainfield has been said to write with “great
empathy and compassion” (VOYA) and to write stories that “can, perhaps, save a
life.” (CM Magazine) SLJ said of her
work: “[readers] will be on the edge of their seats.”
The Giveaway:
Cheryl has been super generous to donate an ebook of both SCARS and HUNTED. I am going to throw in a hardcover of SCARS and some super groovy HUNTED swag. This giveaway is open to everyone and will last until 10/11/12. Enter --> HERE!
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23 comments:
Cheryl is great and so strong for sharing about such horrible experiences that no one should have to go through. Thanks Cheryl and Sex Wax
Those books sound amazing!
thanks for the great giveaway!
OMG i have GOT to get my hands on those books!
My daughter is dealing with being bullied at school this year. I would really like her to read these books.
This is good way to spread awareness about those who are bullied*** It's great to see authors and others doing their part to prevent bullying and or spread the word....... Thank You for the opportunity to win these awesome books- :)
Thank you for the really powerful post. It terrible to think about bullying. I remember being little and getting bullied. It's very impactual. We need more awareness, thank you.
Cheryl is a rock star!
As a speech therapist for preschoolers for years I had one primary goal and it wasn't necessarily to correct the child's speech and/or language. I wanted each child to feel good about themselves when they left my room. That's so important with all kids but especially with those that are impaired in some way. And, in return, they never failed to put joy in my day!
I loooooove Cheryl sooooo much! HUNTED was amazing, it was one of my favourite reads of...ever! I can't wait to read Scars <333
Wonderful post!! And great points about teaching compassion! This could even be tied into teaching history (i.e. treating people horribly/differently is HOW atrocities are allowed to happen.)
OH my gosh, so much pain and suffering. I'm so sorry Cheryl that you had to go through that. Bullying is the worst.
That was waaay too much to handle as a child. I'm so sorry you had to go through with all that. I'm happy you're been able to make it through it because so many do not sadly. I haven't heard of this series until just now. Sounds amazing!
DeAnna Schultz
I really don't understand why kids do this! The hate, the mean things they do! I would love to read more about this! Thanks for the giveaway!
Very beautiful post! I am very glad that in my school we had not these problems. General in Greece the Bullying is not frequent in our school.
Thank you for the giveaway!
Artemis
I really want to read these books. They sounds very good. Please enter me in contest. Tore923@aol.com
I've heard lots of good things about Scars!
-K8
http://froze8.blogspot.com/
It's terrible that bullying is such a huge issue today and very little is being done about it in some schools. It's amazing that Cheryl shared her story and Scars should not be challenged, it's a book that people need. A book should not be banned just because it has dark issues in it. Thank you for sharing! :)
Thanks for the awesome giveaway - these books sound like books everyone should read.
Ms. Rainfield had answered me one time in an email. She probably doesn't know how much that helped me through some tough times. She's one of my inspirations. I finally bought Hunted! It's so suspenseful that I have to put it down every several minutes, but I love it! I'm just not good with suspense, heh..
I have dealt with some awful bullying myself, and it scarred me very much. I have been hurting myself through self-harm, eating disorders, and negative comments towards myself since I was seven. It's such a struggle, but since I got Scars on my phone, I read parts of it when I need to. It helps me so much.
I thank Cheryl Rainfield for existing and simply BEING HER.
Thank you for this giveaway, also! Good luck, everyone! :)
I do not know how to comment on this post, to have no place of safety, nobody to trust or confide it. I cannot imagine it. I agree 100 % that schools should make a class on compasion compulsary.
I haven't experienced being bullied and for that I'm so thankful
Wow. Thank you so much, Cheryl, for sharing your story.
This is a powerful post. It's horrible that this happened to you Cheryl. But thank you for sharing.
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